I Didn’t Come This Far To Only Come This Far.

“I didn’t come this far to only come this far.
I hear some people saying things like: 
“When I make it”
, “When I get to the top”…

 “I’ll keep working hard until i get to the top”, 
“until I reach my goal”

Let me tell you something:
 There is no “END”!
If you reach your GOAL: SET A BIGGER GOAL.
If you get to the top of the mountain: Find a bigger mountain!

It’s the journey.
The continued pursuit of growth.
The constant seeking of improvement. 
That’s what makes life great.
That’s what makes a fulfilled life.

I didn’t come this far to only come this far!
When I get this GOAL: I’ll seek MORE. 
Not more things. MORE GROWTH.
Constantly pushing myself to be better.

I didn’t come this far to only come this far!
I came this far so I could be strong enough to go further!
So I would be good enough to push myself harder!

 I’m only getting started.
 This is just the beginning.

I AM proud of my achievements, but that doesn’t mean I’ll settle for them.

A true winner doesn’t seek only the title.
 A true winner seeks GROWTH. 
A true winner seeks GREATNESS.
It’s the JOURNEY. 

Don’t tell me it’s over. 

 If the journey wasn’t challenging, the destination wouldn’t be rewarding.
It’s the challenge that makes the greatness.

You can’t have a champion athlete without great competitors pushing them all the way.
You can’t have the greatest of all time without champions pushing them all the way.

It’s the journey. The process, that makes the greatness.

If you reach your GOAL: SET A BIGGER GOAL.
If you get to the top of the mountain: Find a bigger mountain!”


Thank you all for sharing this year important year with me.

I would say “The End” but there is so much more to come.

Some much for me to look forward to.

Goodbye for Now.  Happy New Year.



My 2017 Highlights

Near the end of every year I look back at the past twelve months and I always think to myself, “I could have  accomplished more,  I could have done better, I could have had more fun, I could have made the year more than what it was.”

This year is no exception, but not so fast, that just me. “Proud but never satisfied.”

While there is always room for improvement, these year had some big highlights that I would like to share.


  • We learned about Liam’s Autism and ADHD and how to adjust our parenting style.  He still sleeps in our bed so Operation Childless Bed is still in umm…progress but he’s my little buddy and I love our daily routine
  • Lucas started first grade.  Seems just like yesterday the news that he was going to be born sent me burning down my old life for the role of boss, caregiver, and daddy.
  • My stepson, Maddex, when from being a little squirt into a teenager.  The kid must have shot up 6 inches with his long hair and cracking voice.
  • I learned about my own ADHD and how to treat it, harness it, and use it to my advantage.  Sometimes it fails me.  Today even.
  • I traveled, a lot.  Near and Far.  Tourist traps and obscure trails.  I did everything that I could find time for and afford and loved every minute of it.
  • I improved my performance in the Tough Mudder and Boilermaker after a few years in decline
  • I lost 20 lbs.
  • I had my career year at work.
  • I found a level of balance that i can be proud of.
  • I came to understand what makes me happy and what doesn’t


it’s been said that you can only adjust your happiness a small amount.  That being said, when I look at how I felt at the end of 2016 and I how I feel now, I can feel the difference and so can the others around me.

I can look to 2018 with a sense of hope.

Only two more posts left.




Daily Goal Setting

Holy Shit….after today there is only 10 days left in 2017.  Been spending a lot of time, in the middle of all this holiday craziness, thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2018.

2017 was a big year for me.  So much work was put in but I know that in 2018 I need to build on everything that I learned this year.

On thing that all successful people have in common is “daily rituals”.  Things they do every day to make sure they set themselves up to make the day a productive and successful one.

Some read  uplifting material , some hit the gym, some do something as simple as drinking a glass of water first thing when they wake up.

A good amount of my resolutions this year revolved around creating a “ritual”.  Some where successful, like “plan each day in advance” and some I struggled with like “always drink 8 glasses of water.”

One ritual that I have just worked into my daily routine is to write out my goals, Everyday.

This one comes from Time Management Expert, Brian Tracy.

What you do is; take a spiral notebook and every morning you write down 10 goals that you want to accomplish in the next 12 months.  Always write it in the first person and with a time frame.

You don’t write : “I will lose weight.:

Instead write : “I weigh xxx number of pounds by xxxx date”

No more than 10-15 goals at a time and no longer than 12 months of a deadline.

Then everyday take action towards your goals.  If you don’t make the deadline, don’t abandon it, just make a new deadline.

Each day turn the page and write your goals without looking to the previous page.  At first, your goals will change from day-to-day but after a while, your goals will “fix” and the order will change by priority.

I have been doing these for over a month and have already accomplished a few goals.

How do you track your goals?



10 Things to Start Doing to Keep the Restaurant Industry From Ruining Your Life – Chef Chris Hill

10 Things to Start Doing to Keep the Restaurant Industry From Ruining Your Life – Chef Chris Hill.


These are not my words but words I strongly agree with and relate to.  I’ve been in the hospitality and restaurant industry for 16 years, more than half my lifetime.

One thing I have learned is that only a small percentage of restaurant workers are there by choice.  We are all here for many  reasons.  Maybe Something went seriously wrong in their lives,  maybe they can’t make it in “normal jobs”, they do it for cash and they do it well, or maybe just like it here.

Whatever your reason one thing is true of all.  The restaurant business can chew you up in spit you out if you let it.

You can read the full article here.

Here are the 10 Things you should start doing to keep the restaurant industry from ruining your life.

  1.  Be Intentional and Set Goals for Yourself  – “Does this job help me get closer to my goals, the “mountain” or do I now find myself further away?”
  2. Focus on Yourself – If you are one of my employees reading this, you should follow this one.  Stop obsessing about what everyone is or isn’t doing and focus on doing the best job you can do.  
  3. Appreciate the Other Jobs & People Around You  – If you are a server…imagine walking a mile in the dishwashers shoes.  The restaurant can’t function without them, yet he or she is underrated and not paid as well as you.  Maybe you don’t make them work any harder than they need to. 
  4. You are the Average of the 5 People With Whom You Spend the Most Time  – make sure they are the right people.
  5. Don’t Just Settle For a Paycheck – “If you’re boss won’t give you more responsibility or opportunity to grow, it’s time to find someone else to work for.”
  6. Go Home After Work and Save Your Money.
  7. Keep in touch with non-industry related friends .
  8. Disconnect..
  9. Take Care of Yourself 
  10. Don’t Lose Sight of What’s Most Important in Life.

The last three are the most important and the biggest themes of this year long project.



Finding The Right Job For Me

“He doesn’t yearn for a better, different life than the one he has – because he knows he’s got a home in this one.”
― Anthony BourdainKitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

Anyone that knows me, knows that I have worked in restaurants for a very long time.   Fourteen years to be exact.

What they don’t know is that I was went to college to be a cyber crime investigator for the CIA or FBI.

Straight out of high school I attended Utica College back when it was part of Syracuse University.  My major was “Economic Crime Investigation with a concentration in Computer Science.”

2 years down and 2 years to go.  Everything is going great.  Criminology, Statistics, Basic Computer Programming all  a piece of cake.

So what happened?  Once it we got into the super advanced computer language, I “slowly collapsed like a flan in a cupboard”  random Eddie Izzard quote.

I couldn’t focus.  I couldn’t get it down.  Which should have a red flag for my un-treated ADHD , but instead I withdrew.  Ashamed and embarrassed I went into hiding in the restaurant business.

I loved the face paced environment of the restaurant but I would easily get bored in the position I was in.  Then I learned new positions.  Then I knew all the positions.

It was only fitting that I would become a manager one day.

While restaurant management has plenty of frustrations, It’s perfect for someone like me.   I love the constant “bouncing” I must do when running a shift.  I can help greet guests at the door,  pour a beer at the bar,  bus a table, direct staff, flip a saute pan, and chop some basil all in the course of a few minutes.

I do hope to climb in my profession or go on to bigger and better things but for now I know I found a job that I can excel at.

Here is a link for fellow ADHD brains to help your find the right job for you.


The Moment of Truth : Conner’s CPT II

Throughout the diagnosis process,  I had to take a computerized CPT ( continuous performance test) to aid in determining if I really had ADHD.

It’s meant to assess different attention related problems like inattentiveness, impulsivity , sustained attention, and vigilance.

The functionality of the Conner’s CPT II  is very simple.  I stare at a black screen for 14 minutes and letters randomly show on the screen.  If it sounds boring…it is.  That’s the point.   I am supposed to hit the space bar every time a letter pops up.  Except for the letter “X”.  At that point I am not supposed to hit the space bar.

I took it four times.  Under different scenarios each time.  With Caffeine, without caffeine, after work, before work,  good nights sleep, very little sleep.  To see if it skewed the results and provided a different explanation for my difficulties.

However, all the tests showed similar results.  While it measures many things I will use the data of how many times I hit space bar when  the “X”  came up  to paint the picture.  Remember, I’m not supposed to hit the “X” but I did…many times.  28 times on average for each trial.   Which is a key sign of inattention.

Now,  fast forward a couple months and I am three weeks on mediation.  It’s time to go back and take the test again with the Adderall fresh in my system.

All the perimeters that the test looks for had improved.  Number of times that I hit the space with the “X” ; 13.  Which is average.

This is great news.  Because I obviously “feel” like it helps and can totally tell the difference.  (I didn’t take it this morning because I had to wait until 2 hours before my appointment and I was totally lost and miserable).  Now, I can actually see that it does work.  It does help.

The only question that remains is that I have hit the “full therapeutic dose “.    Which is a discussion for my primary and I.

“But you’re the GM.”

I spend a lot of time these days talking to managers and employees about what they need to do to get to the next level of their career.

I usually list in my dialogue characteristics and traits that I do my best to project on a daily basis.

Things I usually say include:

“Listen to your people, get them involved in finding the solution.”

“If everyone has gotta each a shit sandwich, make sure you take the first and biggest bite.”

“Don’t ask anyone to do anything that you wouldn’t do yourself”

My frustration shows when I get this response:  “Well you’re the GM…you should do those things.”

They miss the point entirely   You don’t get promoted or get an opportunity and then magically become a different person.  Having all the skils to do the job.

You develop, then practice the basic work ethic and interpersonal skills that will make your promotable.

I said before that when I became a GM, I didn’t really know  how to be a GM.  But I knew how to lead.  The nuts and bolts of your position come with practice but if you know how to hustle and work with others you can succeed.

But there is a fundamental problem with the workforce today along multiple generations.  They feel entitled to development and growth in the field just by showing up and not learning the skills necessary to climb the ladder.