“Responsibility/Fault Fallacy”


What a beautiful day.

I decided to ditch my evening to-do list for a while and get the boys out of the house.

We walked up be the canal.   Liam giggling with delight every time we went over a slushy bump.  I was able to convince Maddex that giant snow shoe marks with actually Big Foot Prints.

But soon Liam drifted into dream land and Maddex got lost in his headset as most kids his age tend to do.  I got lost in my own mind.

I was thinking about Happiness in an abstract sense.

In my most recently read book.  The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.  (no its not a book about not giving a fuck about anything.  It about how we as a society give too many fucks about the wrong things and not enough fucks about the right things).  Mark Manson talks about who it really responsible for our happiness as well as our unhappiness.


“Responsibility and fault often appear together in our culture. But they are not the same thing. If I hit you with my car, I am both at fault and likely legally responsible to compensate you in some way. Even if hitting you with my car was an accident, I would still be responsible. This is the way fault works in our society. If you fuck up, you’re on the hook for making it right. And it should be that way.

But there are also problems we aren’t at fault for, yet we are still responsible for them.”

See we can have all these reasons to be unhappy and all these people to blame.

“My parents beat me growing.  My Boss is a jerk.  My boyfriend left me for another girl”

And it’s ok to blame these things  for a while.  But YOU are responsible for how you feel about those things.  You are responsible for your emotions.   Even in extreme cases of sorrow and tragedy.  It is up to you to find a way to cope.  And Find a way to be happy again.   I know that sounds cold but that’s the reality.

I had a lot of things bothering me at the end of last year.  I could sit there and blame my  unhappiness  on everyone and everything but myself.  But instead it was up to me to do something about it.








Author: billshappinessproject

I was near the end of 2016 when I realized that my life was totally out of balance. I was 30 and I was working my life away. I did not have strong relationships with my wife, family, or friends. It was around this time that I came across THE HAPPINESS PROJECT by Gretchen Rubin. It was then that I decided to launch my own year long project towards personal happiness for the entire year of 2017.

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